


Club Teratophilia

by ObsidiatheDragon



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And the Impure King thing doesn't happen either, Chef Rin, F/M, Half-demons, Multi, Other, Rin fails the Exorcist Exam but he has time left, Satan doesn't attack with a Gehenna Gate, Satan is not an ass, Strippers & Strip Clubs, The Pope is an asshole
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 16:47:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15610626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidiatheDragon/pseuds/ObsidiatheDragon
Summary: Rin has taken the Exorcist Qualification Exam a month early, and promptly failed because he didn't study. He is then captured by the Pope and is sentenced to death, but Mephisto breaks him out as usual. What does Satan have to say to him that Mephisto isn't cleared to say? Will he go to his elder brother's strip club to become its new chef? And what will he do now that Shiemi's been killed?





	Club Teratophilia

**Author's Note:**

> So in this universe, neither the Impure King fiasco happens (and by extent, the Illuminati arc) or the Satan-Attacks-Assiah filler thing happens. So Rin never gets a chance to make up with anyone except Shiemi.  
> This is my first fanfiction, so comments on how this could be better are much appreciated.  
> Also, I have never been to a club before. All scenes will be based off of what I've seen in movies, read in books, and my imagination.  
> This fic is also loosely based off of "All That Glitters" by IlanaNight. It's a club fic loosely based off of Gravity Falls and is really good and talks about some very important things, but is Explicit and mentions past sexual abuse. I still love it and highly recommend it.  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/4703630/chapters/10740698

“And now we will sacrifice this demon to prove our worth to the Great Holy One!”

I was trapped, locked to a X made from steel and surrounded by people who had the weapons and disposition to kill me. And the worst of it was that I had done _nothing wrong_. Well, by their standards my wrongdoing was being born, but I had no say in that!

“We exorcists have been far too easy on the demons who roam Assiah. We have simply been returning them to Gehenna so that they could come back a different day to challenge us again. From now on we will find and employ as many demons of black fire as we can to _permanently destroy_ all non-friendly demons who come to this Earth. Starting with the son of Satan!”

It sounded like Gandalf-beard’s speech was starting to wind down. I didn’t give him the nickname because I didn’t know who he was, though. Even _I_ know who the Pope is. But the speech was supposed to end with my death, so I was going to either die, or become an “enemy” to all mankind.

Gandalf-beard walked towards me confidently, oblivious to the fact that I had quietly disabled the fire-dampeners on the X, and ripped out my gag saying, “What say you, demon?”

I glared at him. “Three, no, four things. One, my name is Okumura Rin, not demon. Two, I’m also half-human. Three, I had a month left to go before the exam deadline. Four, you’re an asshole.” What the hell, I was probably going to die anyway.

Gandalf-beard gave me a smoldering smirk, took a metal rod from a nearby exorcist, and hit me across the face with it, saying, “Silence, demon!”

The blow didn’t hurt too much. He had tiny little priest muscles from kneeling all his life. But the holy silver bar he’d hit me with burned my cheek. I felt my healing kick in, but that mark would be there for a couple of days.

“You were the one who told me to speak,” I muttered.

“Now then,” Gandalf-beard continued, pretending he hadn’t heard me, “this demon has proved itself untrustworthy. It will be executed tonight as a peace offering to the Great Holy One, Allah and his people of Aetheria!”

The large crowd burst into cheers and applause because of this. I saw my friends, or what was left of them. Bon was almost looking smug about the whole affair. Of course he’d want me dead, given what my father had done to his temple. Koneko looked terrified, but he put on a brave face. He always thought, no matter how many times I tried to prove that I wouldn’t, that I would turn against him and his friends and the followers of his temple. Izumo looked almost indifferent, but something in her eyes looked faintly angry. And Shiemi…

Shiemi looked scared. No, terrified. I’d managed to convince her that I wasn’t a threat and we’d continued being friends. She was going to be devastated when I died. She might even run away to try to go to Gehenna to be with me again; she’d told me once that she would. But what if I went to this Heaven-place Aetheria instead of Gehenna? I was being sacrificed to God. What would happen to her? Would she be alright? Would Satan just kill her upon finding her upon his doorstep, looking for me? Would he cart her back to Assiah to let the exorcists have their way with her?

I was pulled from my thoughts as Gandalf-beard called, “Hordsson, Jualbah. Bring her forward.”

I could only look on in horror as two men grabbed Shiemi and brought her forward roughly. The Pope bent over and looked at her with evil eyes. “You love it, don’t you?” he asked softly.

And then Shiemi, who used to be so quiet and unassuming, now looked the Pope right in the eyes. And nodded.

The Pope straightened and smiled cruelly. “So, she says she loves the demon, yes? What should we do with her?”

“Burn her like the _witch_ she is!” someone in the back shouted.

“Behead her for being a traitor to Assiah and the Knights of the True Cross!” another person said.

“I have a better idea that incorporates both,” the Pope replied against the faint cheers that had sprung up from the comments. He turned and held his hands out, palms up. A squad of soldiers approached, and from my vantage point I could see a dirty, bloodied, white top hat with a purple band around it.

The squad stepped aside to reveal Mephisto Pheles in surprisingly sensible clothing. He was bloody, dirty, and looked very worn out. In his hands was a very familiar blue sword.

“Johann Faustus V,” the Pope began, “Mephisto Pheles, Samael, Demon King of Time. You have been toying with humanity for the last two millennia. You are also a spawn of Satan and deserve to die.”

“But what happens when I die?” Mephisto asked. “What would happen to time and space themselves if I were to die? And what makes you think that you can kill me?”

The Pope glared at the demon king’s smirking face and said, “We can’t. However, you are free to return to Gehenna with your host body intact if you remove the seal you placed on that Komaken.”

“You want me to return Okumura-kun’s heart back to his body.” Mephisto said.

“Yes,” the Pope confirmed, “and destroy his body with it.

“But first,” he said, snatching Kurikara from Mephisto’s hands and drawing it, “this sword will kill one human!” The blue flames flared around me, though I kept them dim to make it seem that the flame-dampeners were still in effect, but I barely noticed anything other than the fact that my sword was hurtling towards Shiemi’s throat. I changed the properties of my flames so that they would not burn her, but the steel blade did its job.

Shiemi’s head fell to the ground with a soft _thud_ , followed by her body.

I couldn’t think. I couldn’t see. I vaguely recognized that I had broken the chains binding me to the X and scrambled to her. I held her body in my arms and her head in my hands. I held her body in my arms and her head in my hands. I lent her my healing powers -–unsure of how I did it-- and perfectly healed her still living flesh back together, though it was too late. Her soul had left its body.

I started to cry.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I can’t hold this much longer,” a familiar voice broke through my grief. I looked up to see Mephisto standing above me, holding his umbrella open above his head. It was casting a shadow that appeared to be a time spell, holding time at a near standstill for those who weren’t under it.

I half-heartedly glared up at the clown. “What do you want?” I asked harshly.

Mephisto sighed. “I want to get you out of here, ototo. And father needs to tell you some things.”

I stiffened at the mention of _father_. “What things?” I asked. “And why don’t you tell me?”

“It is not my place to say,” Mephisto responded curtly. He then pulled a key with a snowflake on the end out of a pocket and held it out to me. “Go here and you will find him.” He paused. “You may also find a resting place for her,” he said, nodding at Shiemi’s body.

I looked down at her, then back up at Mephisto. I then reached out and took the key from his hand. I stood up and put Shiemi’s body over my shoulder. I then took Kurikara from the Pope’s hands and sheathed it.

We walked to the nearest door and I put the key in the lock and turned. I looked back at Mephisto. “Are you coming?” I asked.

“No,” Mephisto answered. “I’d rather not be bitten by a rabid wolf covered in devil’s fire. If you need me, I’ll be in Gehenna.” With that, he disappeared with a poof of pink smoke.

I stood for a second, then before the time spell could end, I opened the door and stepped through.


End file.
